A wedding throws up a few grey areas, the greyest of which is who looks after the mother of the groom! Usually, this can be negated if the bride’s family is particularly helpful and nice, or if the mother of the groom has a daughter who they can rely on to go outfit shopping, underwear shopping and generally, feel involved! If however, you only have a son, or two sons – it’s easy to feel very lost! Below, we put together a little guide to help you through your son’s wedding…
This is a pretty wide subject, as Mother of the Groom – you may wish to ask what colour the bridesmaid dresses are wearing, to either match or avoid that colour (it’s all personal preference) To help with choosing an outfit, you can always ask to attend the wedding dress fitting, or any of the bride’s shopping trips for the big day (there’s always a few) alternatively, if you know what you like and like what you know, just choose a dress in a colour which makes you feel comfortable, and confident.
An invite to the hen party may or not be forthcoming, there’s no huge pressure to attend – although it’s a lovely way of bonding with your new family if you are to attend. Spa days, and even a spa weekend can work well, however if three nights in Benidorm or Magaluf isn’t your thing – don’t feel that you have to go along with it. If the Hen Do isn’t your scene, it can also be nice to organise something quieter and separate, which can be as simple as a meal out.
This is also a tricky topic, and one which is up to the family to organise. Of course, making a wedding contribution always used to be the responsibility of the bride’s parents – although today this is much more flexible. It all really depends your financial circumstances, and is something best confirmed by all families and those involved.
If there is a wedding list, it’s always nice to see in advance of the guests so you can choose the gift that you would like to give to your son and his new wife. As more and more people are cohabiting before marriage, not all new couples need a toaster or a dinner set. Many couples today now prefer cash gifts or vouchers for a honeymoon. Either way, it’s always nice to be first in the know so you can plan these things well in advance.
Help in Planning
This again all depends on the organisational capabilities of your son, he may or may not need helping in organising some aspects of the wedding, some sons even need help in booking their own stag do! Help can vary from setting up tables, getting in touch with the registrar, to sorting out seating plans to sending out and receiving invites and RSVPs.
Helping Guest Lists
If your sons are anything like my sons, then their wedding guest list doesn’t include half of the family which should be attending, or needing to attend. It’s always helpful to cast your eyes over the list and make sure no aunties or uncles have been (accidentally or intentionally) forgotten. This saves for embarrassment and awkwardness before, during and after the wedding day!
It’s not commonplace or compulsory for the mother of the groom to do a speech, however – there’s no tradition here. If you want to say a few words, then do! Remember though, only have two drinks before it!
Mother & Son Dance
Talking on more of a traditional level, it’s customary for the bride to dance with her father, whilst the groom dances with his mother. So dust off the dancing shoes! You can always rehearse a routine, or just go with the flow!
If you have any tips of how to survive a wedding as the Mother of the Groom, please get in touch and leave us a comment!